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Wednesday, August 9, 2006

11:38PM - Inspired *

I was listening to a few songs and I just started typing things. I suppose thats what is known as inspiration. Now, these aren't dedicated to anyone, it was just me going with the flow of the songs and attempting to keep with the theme of the lyrics. Now, the last one's beginning isn't based off the song as much as the others are... just go with the flow.

by: Malice Mizer
“I Miss You” “I Miss You” The words pile up within my heart. I just want to be near you.


I close my eyes and look to the sky. How I long to hear those words again. Those murmured words still reside within my heart, even as I stare at your disappearing footprints where we once stood together.


To be a couple, more precious than anyone…


Those shy words; your smile is always there, whenever I look back. As the sun falls from the sky and behind the horizon the shadows lengthen and begin to disappear into the night. Thing could’ve been wonderful… I murmur farewell to the past, though I can’t stop looking there. My confusion can’t be erased by the night’s breath. Your words can’t be erased no matter how dark the night becomes.


To hear those words again in the afternoon’s slumberous sunshine… to be a couple more precious than anyone… I awaken to reality.


“I miss you” I just want to be near you…






by: Phantasmagoria
My eyes shut from the life that was the past. How long have they been like this? How long will they be like this? How long will the only see dark, and be hidden from the world. Until the rain withers? Until my heart’s content?


The Fairies which cloud my memories are so beautiful. Never fading, no matter how much I shut my eyes. No matter how many times they bid me farewell. This love was my best story, to begin is to end and to forget is to never return. I can’t keep my eyes shut forever, though I bid them too. I’m leaning against the window now, feeling the slip of my falling tears. Falling, echoing, as if to remind me. But the ticking clock rings and the feelings sought cannot be concealed.


This love is my best story, though I won’t be thinking of you forever. The memory of being enveloped in love feels like an eternity. But now, that scene has been placed into a box, never to be opened, as it will be kept locked.




by: Phantasmagoria


I attempt to etch memories onto the hopeful light, with the pass of the drowning sorrowful rain. Out stretched hands glimmering; the tears of my sadness never ceasing to flow. I feel the rays of the light cascade upon my body, I hear the cries of the rain and I feel my self giving into the cold and wetness.


I wish to the sky before me, “let there be sunlight after the rain” and I dream of the day I journey away. The rain continues to pour onto my body, embracing the spellbinding whole of me. Rain, why must you embrace me in this overwhelming emotion, until the end of time? My hands pour as well, as I beckon for it’s passing. I’m drowning in this emotion without an Umbrella. The lovely rays illuminate the dark night, giving me a feeling of warmth so certain. Sadly, the light cannot stop the rain, but only follow in it’s watery wake.


Somehow, overflowing, I know that it will surely past. My hands fall and I submerge into the Rain. It echoes of tears. As I stare into the light the lovely rays remind me that I will never perish. Life is but Light and Rain…







by: Malice Mizer

The wind whispers:
"Even the smell of the burnt asphalt will be absent tonight"


I absently smiled. “How can the wind be so care free?” It swirled about me, as if it had laughed as well. “When you can flow anywhere at once, when no one can hold you back, it comes naturally,” it answered playfully. My eyes wandered to the sky in the window as I sprawl out across the floor. I asked, “but, if the wind is constantly moving, how can in it be dependable?” The wind’s fluttering halted to a breeze. “Though I am ever moving, it does not mean I’m not undependable. I’m simply not content with staying the same.”


I closed my eyes and listened to it’s tune. It’s motions around my white room, over my legs, and up the walls. “I wish I were like you. Why can’t I be you wind? To be so ever changing is to be beautiful and care free,” I said feeling something within myself sink. Tears came to my eyes and urge to spill. “I wish I were you; to be so down to earth and one of a kind must be bliss,” the wind stirred and dried my tears. I laughed feeling my heart beat slowly, “so, they wind is as crazy as it seems,” I said.


“To be ever changing is not unique, because you’re never one thing for more than a moment. To be one thing forever, to be something that no one else can be… how lovely that would be,” the wind sighed and blew the papers off of my book case. My head began to hurt even more than when my hear was aching for you, where ever you were.


The wind then wrapped itself around me almost picking me up off the floor. “I’m glad the wind envys something I cannot change”, I said as it ceased. I reached my hand up towards my ceiling, as if attempting to push past it and into the sky. Though it is night outside, in my mind I am still laying down with you. I find my hand in yours and findmyself stretching out to meet you, I attempt to embrace the sky. Drawn closer to you as the wind blows around us, as if bringing us even closer to one another. I smile, though your eyes are filled with tears. Please don’t cry at this moment, for my prayers have been answered with the feel of your touch. This miracle moment has come and soon must past, but for now, in this instant, don’t cry anymore.


From my window in my empty white room, I waited for you, only accompanied by the ever changing wind. On this evening please do not cry, I’ll comfort you with this lullaby.



Current mood: Things could be worse...

Monday, July 24, 2006

9:04AM - Random Picture of the Day

Current mood: bored

Saturday, July 22, 2006


I want to be an Anarchist, I want to be an Anarchist, I want to be an Anarchist. Anarchist
I want to be an Anarchist, I want to be an Anarchist, I want to be an Anarchist.

Hi! Sorry about that. I got busy again (damn you Summer). I think K.T. tried to call me yesterday, but I was watching "Hot Shots" with the Raef-Raef at the time so....yeah. *akward silence* Do you hate the smell of burning pants? I do. It smells like someone is burning Crayons...

Hey, check out this awesome video. I think you've all seen it before, but it still pretty funny. Its called: "The Battle of LOL City"

Current mood: happy

Thursday, July 20, 2006


For a while now, I've been into J-Rock (I know, don't have a bypass) and finally, an all female J-Rock band has arisen. Unlike Puffy Ami Yumi, they are all J-Rock. No J-Pop as of yet; also, their songs are on par of most all Male J-Rock bands. And yes, the Vocalist can yell as good as the rest of them, REAL throaty. They are the "Danger Gang".


Icons by: warumono and gin_no_tsuki from: http://community.livejournal.com/danger_gang/
All materials from: http://community.livejournal.com/danger_gang/

Current mood: "...CRASH!!!!"

Monday, July 17, 2006



Good after-morning-before-noon, my Friends! I realize I've kinda been missing for a little while, but I've got reason (besides the fact that I'm...lazy...*coughs*) I'll give you what all happend, in no specific order, in bulet form. Easy, no?

- I went to El Paso from July 6th-9th for a Reigonal Track Meet. My Relay Team ended up taking first place and I got a Gold Medal!
- Saw the Raef multiple times
- helped my Grandparents move
- being an Ace Combat Fan Boy
- Resetting the World
- Track Practice

And that mostly it...BUT, I plan on being around a little more often. I know, you're all thrilled. XP. I'll probably post something random later on, but until then...bye!

"Kiss me Deadly! Kiss me, Kill me Love me, Kiss me, Kill me Love me!"

Current mood: amused

Thursday, June 29, 2006

9:47AM - Call Me

Hold me, call me, kiss me, kill me. I need you

Please tell me how the dream goes on
I'm sure it's a brilliant story 
you're trying to look strong, you're lonely
you're scared; a solitary star

swallowing my breath I'm calling out to you, so expressionless
the petals of reality and silence are dancing

Hold me, call me, kiss me, kill me. I need you

Even if I'm sad and wretched
it blooms gloriously in this suffering heart
Call me right now

I pretended not to notice, a moning glory pushing forth a bud
a sigh in the stabbing afternoon sunlight
the sad flower staring into my face
is telling me words

I'm fading away, I'm growing dim, this resignated me
I'm withering away without a sound; A resounding sin and voice
I'm not coming back anymore, I'm not turning back
stop this; Sad eyes and flowers

Hold me, call me, kiss me, kill me. I need you

Don't tell me the meaning of "goodbye" yet, I don't want to hear it
I just want to submerge in the starry sky and this night
repeating every day this sin without redemption
I just realized something important...


those tears are not falling because of me
your eyelids tightened with lie are just fooling you
a truth many years ago, the two of us laughing
let's say goodbye to our shaded hearts

I didn't see a dream about tomorrow
just repeating every day
suffering to forget the mistake I had made

a clear sky, a gap amoung the breaking clouds
not being allowed to live, not being killed
I'm carrying my sin

even if I love you I can't reach your heart; this unfulfilled wish
so that I'm near you, so that we never part, tied up together

Lobely, suffering, holding you, then crying and clinging to you
those freezing arms, that horribly cold skin, Aren't you Dead Yet?

Words are sometimes sad, aren't they? Are you lonely? Answer me

Tearful Sky, gaps and scars in my heart
crumbling, breaking apart, now finish of everything

Your constant crying, your sudden kindness
I won't forget you, I won't forget you, 
I just wanted you to laugh beside me

Aren't you Dead Yet?

8:57AM - Shudder

By: 12012

the warped ripples were again fading out, before long the irreplaceable world perishes
eighth month1, I suppose I still wait for you within the silent room inside the deeply terribly gloomy book
second month, by the rice paddies on the lake2 you're so terribly fatigued and even I've changed so completely 
that I don't know my own self-portrait

a knife in my right hand, I conquer you who are in a state of peace over and over again
a tear in my right eye, I conquer you who are in a state of lethargy over and over again
fourth month, separate desires and separate existences, however I guess I'm still in denial

say, lovely you and a corpse, a chandelier of stardust, the sky burst into tears
this crime now dances vividly on the lantern that is the moon
I just laugh again, was crying again...

say, my precious you and a corpse, a bet with the lake, good night my honey
be happy again, my wings can't flap again, they crumbled and fell off; I just laugh, was crying...

you cannot place... if this wish of mine comes true
someday in this place, I wait for you... the first month, I wait for you...

Current mood: cold

Friday, June 16, 2006







I gotta Freedom and Duty , so I sing along with the Solitude
tekubi no kizu ni BAI BAI tsugete kane wa nattaze



I hate pop

Current mood: "I Love you Baby"

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Hurah for bleeding, I suppose. 

Today seems to be another hot day, fortunately I've an easy day. I finally made some friends on my Track Team. And yes...we're a bunch of Dumbasses. The question of "Do you think sterotypical mid-aged White people use Rap lyrics in a seriously?" Thats when we started using the lyrics in songs. I said the first one (yeah, I fanned the flames): "Pardon me when I say that you will not catch my riding dirty".

Geez, we all died on ourselves. Amazingly, someone had a good comeback: "Well sir. All I can say is, "do not start any stuff and there will be no stuff". I told them about the Gatsby Project that Raef and I had 'modified' into that kinda talk. *pauses, looks around*

Daisy: OOOO!! That be my ba-by! Come get ya'll moms a hug! OOOO!! That be my ba-by! 

*dies* AH, Damn it. That was so fun typing that (damn) Gatsby Project up again. *wipes tears from his eyes* Wooo! Yeah.

Man, Nathan and I are watching one of the most F'd up shows we've ever heard of. Its called "Parental Control". The parents of a guy or girl choose two guys/girls out of six others for their son/daughter to go out on a date with. The catch is their son/daughter already has a Boyfriend or Girlfriend. At the end of the show the son/daughter chooses if she'll either go with on of the other two her parents choose or the person they're with. Sadly, thus far the original boyfriend/girlfriends are getting shafted like none other. Its a Marthon of eight episodes and this far in every one they went with someone their parents choose. Who comes up with these ideas? I mean, I hate to say it, but you've got to be a little twisted for something like that. 

The Raef has been very busy preparing for a play and is practicing lines. Right now, I'm doing my best to not distract her. So...hmmmm...I guess I'll just have to entertain myself. Let's see whats on TV. [besides this odd little show...]

Current mood: "...BUT NOT EMERGENCY"

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

2:47PM - Chillin'

Dear Lifeless, Paper Holding Object,
if the damned thing is a Bass, but not a Bass how do you know which one is the Bass? I mean, if a Bass is a Bass and the Bass is nothing like a Bass then why refer to them both as Basses? Oh, how unfortunate, for no one plays with Bass, they play  with a Bass. ...wait...they're both pronounced the same way! How the hell is anyone going to understand me!?

*AHEM* Good evening/afternoon/night-thing my friends. Can you believe how hot it is out there? I can't believe I'm going to be running in this...  *slams head on Keyboard* gfdb y

So. I some how got 5th Place at a track meet, in one event, out of 50 others. That was sweet like a Sugar Packet. Which reminds me. I should stop eating these...

Egh. I've got to wake up every morning at 5:30AM to go and work at the Dog Center, all Summer again. Nothing like knowing you could be sleeping as you Vaccum up Dog Hair off of chairs. *slow nod turns into a head shake* I don't reccomend it. Hm. I hope I actually get paid this Summer. I mean, I realize that I usually never get paid and I'm cool with that, but I'm going to need that Cash later on. 

Miyavi's Cat's name is "Loosey". Does anyone smell rain? I LOVE the smell of Rain. I used to have an...imaginary friend named Rain, she reminds me a lot of someone. Eternity my friend, is a long Fucking time. Oh! Track. Bye.

Current mood: Hyper...!

Friday, June 2, 2006

12:00PM - Pfft.

*sigh* Today has been slow, hot and pointless....AH! ITS SUMMER'S EVIL SIDE! INACTIVITY. Everyone is out somehwere, like Raef who is back up in Steam Boat. OR I just don't know where the hell they live. 

Yesterday was supposed to be a me and Raef day, but an accident occured and that fell through. BUT! Next week will be most glorious in the utmost fashion. We get to hangout together TWICE that week. Can you say "CHA-CHING!?" *coughs

Oh, yeah. I attempted to make some J-Rock wallpapers, but I don't know if they're any good. SO, I'll post them in a second post later on today. What have I been doing all day? (like you asked) I've been finishing some stuff for Mom on the net, gettin' Military stuff for Nathan and downloading an Album from a band called: Rentrer en Soi. Yes, they are a JRock band. They're an odd little group, but I think they're alright. HELL, they've got a Jazzy song man. Seriously! I Jazzy song. Thought its called "Gedoki magai ni SUICIDE".

OH, and Raef, I've got quiet a suprise for you once you get back and I see you again. *points at the rest of you* I know YOU took it that way, and you know that YOU are horrible. You know who YOU are. (Reilon and KT. XP)

Ya' know. I've been wondering. Exactly how long IS summer anyways? Its always getting shorter and shorter...I'm suprised they don't just make it a Year round thing. Then again...that would mean we'd goet more vaction time and more days off. BUT you'd get to see friends a lot...EH. Tomato, To-mato.

Current mood: bored

Monday, May 29, 2006

9:25AM - Next_!

Alright Ladies, here is what's next for the JRock love:

> Dir en grey:
R to the Core
(the second part of "G.D.S.")
Asunaki Koufuku Koenaki Asu
Sajou no Uta
Hydra [BuzzOut Mix]
Drain Away [Neo Tokyo Trans Mix]

> Kagrra:

I can probably pick up a full "Kirito and "L'Arc" Album if I sit here long enough downloading...egh, why not? I'll probably get off around 2:50PM - 3:11PM, but only for a little while. It me an enitre weekend (basically) to find these. Why let them go to waste? 

"R to the Core" is such a fun little song, its extremely short, but has a very up beat feel. I like the lyrics too: (translated)

you're the one that's stupid
you're a pig, acting all honest
but you hide your true self
can't hear anything, can't feel anything
this is a place of contradiction

my heart screamed out
you make fun of me
like you make fun of my dead left ear 

I know everyone isn't like that
but I can't accept everything
so I still, even now scream out in a hoarse voice
to all you rotten people

there is an answer
so writhe in agony
and let your will to live, come out
everyone's the same once they sin 

Way to be Kyo. Its as if hes telling all those that doesn't like D.e.g to "Shut the hell up". AH, man and I've been stuck on listening to "Byo Shin" by them too. I don't know why. Its just a prime example of Hard J-Rock. 

Anywho, getting off the Dir en grey crack. Nightmare's music is (obviously) a little older, but still pretty good. I espeically like "Jainaizumu Roku" and "Neotenii"; "Neotenii" reminds me of a buncha High School kids on a Road Trip.

Schwarze Stein. They play Dark Wave Techno. I don't know what else to say about that one. Its hard to describe, but it'll be easier for you just to hear them.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

3:30PM - 27th

EEEEEEEEEEEEGH...... Just got home from working at the Dog Center, well, for today; I'll be back there tomorrow. Thank goodness I took a shower, now I just smell like me and not dog/pee/whatever the hell else. However, I'll be leaving here pretty soon to go hangout with my Psycho Grandma that is addicted to Cold Medication. Mmm...great. 

Well, my darling is up at Steam Boat all weekend (until Monday, probbly mid-day Monday). So far, it hasn't even been a full day since shes been gone and, I miss her. I nearly called her when I got back about 30 minutes ago, but I remembered. Pfft. Egh, I feel like a junky needing a Raef fix. *eats Vanilla* Its not as sweet...*sets it down*

Well, today at work i got clocked by a 2x4. I currently have an splitting (yeah, ironic) headache and yet we're still going to her house...Right. As I worked outside with my brother, we got extremely hot and took off our shirts. Unfortunately, the Dog Center is right on a corner at a Stop Light/intersection thing and we were honked at like none other. *shakes head* People, you're driving. DRIVING. Watch the Fucking Road, not me! Besides...I'm not legal so, HAH! 

*coughs* Oh, and as if he isn't bad enough, Nathan actually went out and bought 15 Hentai Movies. Yeah, that was funny last night:
*walks down stairs* Yo Nato, whatcha' watching?
Nate: Anime! Come and sit with me!
Me: sure! *sits. pasues. covers eyes*
Nate: YEAH! Now THATS anime!

Current mood: "Jamu wo Taipuri Tsukete"

Sunday, May 21, 2006

2:07AM - A Blue Dove for The Princess

EGH! ...bad dream...I can't possibly go back to sleep now. *sigh* Its 2AM...*head desk* Maybe a story will help. Let's see if I can type it from memory. Its one of my favorites:

A Blue Dove for the Princess 


I.. "The beginning"

This is a tiny miracle fairy tale that was passed down to only some people.

Once upon a time.
There lived a dove in a castle in a country where greens and warmth prevailed. The dove had been taken care of by a Princess since she found the young dove injured in the castle garden.

The dove was injured so badly that it felt like his wings were torn off. The pain was all over his body and he could do nothing but laid himself on a leaf bed. It was the Princess who saved him then. She carried him into a small cage which was hung up near the window in the corner of the Princess's room. Despite living inside the cage, he was far from frustration. The Princess always gave him close attention and the scenery through the window was wonderful. More importantly, he could enjoy watching every move she made. Having recovered from the injury, he became healthy enough to jump around inside the cage.


II. "Disease of the Princess"

The dove was so happy with the days there and hoped that it would continue for good,
but at some point everything began to change. The Princess, who was always in good shape and made it a habit to come to him many times a day, did not show up even once on that day. She did not come up and feed him until the end of the day.

On the following day. Early in the morning, the dove saw many noblemen gather around the Princess. They all had an anxious look on their faces. It seemed that the Princess got a disease. She may not be able to get well. She may possibly pass away. How can this happen when the neighboring country just ceased warfare? How can this be when the peace of the world is close at hand? The men were talking about all this.

"The demon of Razgriz!!" One of them suddenly spoke up in a loud voice.

"When history witnesses a great change, Razgriz reveals itself, first as a dark demon. As a demon, it uses its power to rain death upon the land, and then it dies."

"However, after a period of slumber, Razgriz returns, this time as a great hero."

"Only the demon of Razgriz can do this to her!"

Thinking about how healthy she looked on the previous day and how seriously these men cared about her, the dove felt uneasy then more than ever. She may disappear. She may not wake up to come see me. These sad feelings lingered on in his mind.




III. "Thoughts of the Dove"

While caring about the Princess and looking back upon the days spent with her, an old memory flashed across the dove's mind. It was the story that Mom told him before she died.

"Somewhere in the world is a big tree and its magical fruits can cure every injury and every disease." "It is far far away, deep down into rocky mountains that no man can ever step foot in." "There surely is."

That magic fruit can cure her disease and save her life. He thought. She will be back well if I can get it. The more he thought of it, however, the less confident he felt.

"Can I escape from hawk and peregrine when they are after me?"
"Can I fly up to the mountains so far away and even get over them?"
"Can I simply fly for such a long time?"
"Can I really carry the fruit with this small beak of mine even if I am lucky enough to get there?"
"Can I manage to make it back in one piece?"

He could not help harboring these bad feelings deep down inside. There was no blaming him for this.
Having been protected all the time by the Princess since the injury, all he did was keep hanging around in the tiny little bird cage.

In the meantime, the Princess got worse day by day.

The next morning, an old nursemaid came to feed the dove on behalf of the Princess.
She opened the cage just a little as she was about to feed the dove. He was watching her doing it with a determined look on his face.  Thereupon, he took a chance and got out of the cage.

Flying through the room door and flying across the castle walls, the dove was heading for the sky high above. He heard the nursemaid shout "O dear!" from behind.

Was he finally free from the fear of hawk and peregrine? Definitely not. Had he the idea what course to take? Absolutely not. Nevertheless, he took desperate flight. Just in pursuit of the magic fruit. 

IV. "Lark"

The dove first reached a forest in the north of the castle. "Looks like you are in such a hurry, but your flying is not smooth." Said the lark who just came over from behind. He responded to the lark.
"No wonder. I lived in a cage for a long time. I'm proud that I can fly somehow." "Cage is no good."
The lark said abruptly. "We've got wings, right? They can take you anywhere you want and anytime you want. That's how it has to be. Look at the world. It's so big." He asked the lark. "Don't you think the sky is dangerous? There are hawks and peregrines up here. What if they are after you? And on the ground there are foxes, raccoon dogs and cats."

"Let me ask you something. Can you eat something you wanna eat if you are confined in a cage?"
One day you feel like eating worms and the other day you wanna have yourself some rosehips.
Suppose you no longer have someone to feed you. There is no point in talking about "safe" and "dangerous".

It is if it's because of "you" or "someone else" when you go through with something that counts."
"Is is that good to know that the world is big?" "The world is what your eyes can see. It then becomes your world. So knowing it more will make you better. You can count on it." The lark said all this neatly, but seriously at the same time.

He said to the lark. "I am searching for a magic fruit." "Ain't got a clue. Why don't you ask that green worm down there? O what a pity! I never wanna be something like that. it can move but all it can get a hand on is one single tree. That tree is the entire world for that thing."

He looked down and found something green crawling on a tree just beneath.


V. "Green worm"

"I myself can fly. I know that I can't fly as high as you, but I do fly." The green worm suddenly said a strange thing. "You have no wings. So you just can't fly." "You are wrong. I can. I become a pupa and I will have my wings. That's why I can fly." "But not for now." "There is no difference between flying today and flying tomorrow. You couldn't fly either when you were an egg, could you?"
When I become a pupa, I will have myself wings. The size of my wings is the same as that of my memory I obtain before I turn into a pupa. Once I have wings, my legs become small and weak. Then I will not be able to walk around like this. That's why I keep moving and watching everything about this tree."

"I am searching for a tree that bears a magic fruit." He said to the green worm.
"I met a tortoise here. He looked wise. He told me that he was usually hanging about at the lakeside beyond this forest. He probably knows something about it. He may be wise but he has to be locked up in his carapace until he dies. He will not have wings. His memory is as old as his age. It remains for ever."

Far, far away. Just over the forest. There was a lake shining under the light of sunset.


VI. "Tortoise"

On arriving at the lake, he met the tortoise. "It is good to to have a carapace. This has enabled me to survive a lot of dangers. There are some birds that wear carapaces, arent there?" "You mean a cage? It's not like yours. It bans us from outside. Many of us want out. I was in there too."
"Why on earth did you get out of it and jeopardise yourself? The best way to live long is stay away from anything dangerous.

Hazards can hit you even if there is nothing to be blamed on your end.  When you are in trouble, you need ,,, to be ,,, like this. Wait till everthing subsides. Don't even think about moving around." Said the tortoise, with his limbs folding into his carapace.

"It is no solution!"
The tortoise said with a loud voice and went on,

"Can every problem be solved? Are you sure of it so much? Everything has its end, good or bad. When the sun is shining, you better enjoy as much sunlight as you can. In ice-cold winter that freezes your teardrops, you must endure with everything you've got. The sun will rise again. We are mortals and that is all the mortals can do. Hmm? A weird wind has begun to blow. I have a feeling that something wicked is coming." He said and pulled his head into his carapace.

"I am looking for a tree that bears a magic fruit." The dove said to the wise tortoise.

"There are rocky mountains far beyond the other end of this lake. Can you see? The fourth peak from the top of the highest mountain in the middle, you can go there."

He took a look over there and got a blurred image of it.

The tortoise said.
"Believe whatever it may be. I believe in this impregnable carapace of mine more than a magic fruit."


VII. "Old tree"

When the dove struggled and made his way at last to the mountain, an old tree just began to speak up to himself. "An ominous wind is blowing. Is it finally here? Has time come for an old tree like me to fall down? The demon of Razgriz ,,, hmm ,,, a great hero this time?"

"What is it?"
The dove asked with a calm voice.

"When history witnesses a great change, Razgriz reveals itself. First as a dark demon."
The tree began to tell the same story that the dove heard in the castle.
"As a demon, it uses its power to rain death upon the land, and then it dies. However, after a period of slumber, Razgriz returns. This time as a great hero."

"Demon? Hero? What does it do?" "When I saw it for the first time, I was young and thin. I had fewer braches then. In those days, humans often battled against each other. Razgriz not only brought about a tempest which kept raging for seventy days but also kept scattering hailstones from above. Trees and grass perished and nothing was left for humans and animals to live on. Consequently the soil was in ruins. All living things died one after another.

My friends, four-legged beasts, humans and let alone birds like you.

Everything in this land was deprived of breath.
In the end, Razgriz murdered no other than itself.
Shortly after, this place turned into nothingness."

"It wan an evil being, wasn't it?" ",,, Nay." The old tree answered, as if he was not certain himself.
He breathed out and took a deep breath in.

"This story still continues. After a long, long time passed since this land died, there was a traveler.
The traveler cured those who suffered disease, resurrected the soil, gathered all those people who sheltered themselves away from here. They founded a village and a town. The rivers were full of water.

The soil became a wheat field. This land was once again at peace. Thereupon, the traveler decided to leave the village. The villagers were far from happy about this. At the moment of departure, they heard the traveler say, "I am ... Razgriz."  This marks the end of the story."

"I am here in need of a magic fruit."The dove finally told the old tree about it.

"... Alright. There are few fruits left for me, you can take one, though. By the way, Have you any idea why this is called a magic fruit?" The dove remained silent, gazing at the old tree.

"This can become not only a medicine but also a poison. Or rather, this may be no more than a fruit and this may even change into a stone." "What do you mean?"

"This fruit will become what you believe it to be."

The dove turned around to look for the castle. Even beyond the furthest hill, it was still unseen, though.

"The ominous wind is blowing stronger. Fly carefully home."


VIII. "Demon from above"

The dove gave gratitude and said farewell to the old tree. He left the rocky mountain with the magic fruit tightly in his beak. The wind began to blow even stronger. Then he found himself in a storm and hailstones.

In spite of the terrible weather, he needed to return home as quickly as possible. He spread out his wings. He looked a bit more masculine than before.


IX. "Magic fruit"

Although the wind turned the tides time and time again against him,
he managed it so as to get back home to the castle in which the Princess was waiting.
Flying up and flying high.
Weaving through the forests and breaking through the clouds.
In order to catch the wind which would carry him home.

He was carrying a mysterious fruit that could become what the holder wished it to become.
Or rather,  he was holding tightly in his beak "a medicine which can immediately cure disease of any nature"!

Down below ran the river towards the horizon.
Far beyond the horizon were a forest and a castle which looked familiar to him.

A little bit more!
Just a little bit more and I will see the Princess!
Our happy days are about to begin again!


X. "Returing home"

On arriving at the castle at last, the dove saw people gather and surround the Princess in bed.
There were more people than the last time. All people were weeping with a grave and sad look on their faces. Above all, the king was crying out in sorrow. His crying was almost a groan.

The dove could not deliver. The Princess had been gone and he felt sad so much. However, he never felt sorry for what he had done. He repented of nothing. Because her face was so calm. He could tell from the way she looked that she never lost hope to the end and she loved the world.

The dove, fully exhausted of the do-or-die journey, fell asleep, feeling sorrow and somehow calm.


XI. "The ending"

In the following morning, on entering the room, the nursemaid found the dove's body resting in peace beside the Princess. She twisted her face in surprise and said in a very loud voice. "O my! Is this her little dove? How come? He was injured and he couldn't flap since then. These wings were certainly deformed and disabled. How he set off and even came back? What a surprise!"

The dove preciously kept holding a fresh fruit of Orion Poplar in his beak even after he passed away.
The nursemaid decided to plant it in the middle of the garden right under the window of the Princess's room.

In time, it grew to be a big and thick tree with a lot of branches. It is said that from the top of the tree can the Princess's room and her bird cage be clearly and closely seen.


This is a tiny miracle story that is passed down from branch to branch and from parent bird to baby bird on the top of the Orion Poplar.

- The End

 Hm. You know, I feel a little better now. I think I'll try and sleep again. Oh, what did you all think of the story?


Current mood: discontent

Saturday, May 20, 2006

12:05AM - 20th

*Kicks back* Oh, yeah!! Today was quite the day ladies and gents and I am as tired as...well...something tired. My final today was...oddly easy, almost worryingly easy. Then after that i headed over the Raef's house after school and we did stuff. Napped, made dumb comments, the usual. While sounding a little boring, it was fun for me! 

After all that good stuff, I stuck around her house unitl here Mom (finally) came and grabbed me. Off I went to her play! The play was great in my opinion. This is the second play of her's I've gone to and I really like seeing her play different roles. It shows that her talents are very versatile; she can do a comedic role, serious role, and most others probably. Its very cool.

Anywho; I found the entire play extremely interesting. Afterwards, I we went out to eat and once we did everyone just kinda passed out. Man, I'm tired....But my day was Glorious! Yes, yes, glorious indeed. *pauses* I even scored a picture of Raef! *thumbs up*

Current mood: exhausted

Saturday, May 13, 2006

10:28PM - *ROCK OUT*

: Dir en Grey

My Comeuppance and you Ignorance

Lyrical Show time
Full of ability, it's the Blood Red show time, show time
Comical Show time
Inflammation of vitality, It's the Blood Red show time
Cynical show time
Reality, Comes to life It's the Blood Red show time, show time
Radical show time
Eternity breaks It's the Blood Red show time

That's right, I still can't find the meaning of my existance
That's why I slice the meaning on my body more and more and more and more and more
---Go ahead and just laugh, and just walk away---


It's better then to not even notice it...
My Comeuppance and you Ignorance

Cynical show time
Reality, Comes to life It's the Blood Red show time, show time
Radical show time
Eternity breaks It's the Blood Red show time

Thats all I know about it (Go ahead!)   x3

The voices of backstabbers still sick to me
Someday maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe the voice will be heard straight to my heart
---Go ahead and just laugh, and break away---

SHOW TIME It's non of my business...hehehe

Thats all I know about it (Go ahead!)   x3
Please come to last gasp with me (My pleasure)

Current mood: hyper

Thursday, May 11, 2006


From our Seperation, we will die to those around us
ceasing to exsist as we Eternally pass away
away from our lonliness and into our happiness.

Our days of wandering have withered and blown away
like the cherry blossoms of winter
the scent of uncertainty scattered into the wind
into a void of tears, known as the past, as we breathe
deeply and sigh

Eternally Seperated from our past
seperated from our hates, our desires, our lusts, our disgraces
seperated from the world which forgot us
leaving us eternally together.

 - Kisaki, "Eternal Seperation"

Me and a few others are attempting to translate "Eternal Seperation" by Kisaki Project, and
thats what we have so far. I loved the song before, but I especially do now. This song really
hits close to home for me. Maybe Kisaki has had some bad past experiances similar to mine...I
should go check...Oh, and it turns out that "Miwaku" isn't Fascination; its Desire. Ooops. So,
this means Miwaku no Roma means The Desire of Rome. That makes sense.

Anyways, today was today. I finally got that acursed LA Project in and do I feel better. I'm
glad that people in my LA class found it to be very interesting. I hope its going to come out
well though...

Raef's project went extremely well, despite many things that have been bothering and saddening
her lately; but she pushed through and created a project which made quite a buzz. I'm very proud
of her; while it may sound easy to some of you, its not. Especially, making a project like she
did. Be sure to go to her LJ for more info on it: darksome_raven

I amazingly did get some sleep yesterday, but it didn't help too much. By 12:34 or so I was beat...
*yawn* Still am.

Despite that my day went well. I saw and huggled the Raef, messed with the Friends, PK'd and that
was about it. I did plan on talking to Raef about something important today, but she seemed extremely
tired, so I just gave her the Ultra-Condensed version. Ah! I admit, I'm pretty damned happy right now.

In fact, I'm talking to her now! Look at that!

Current mood: content

Monday, May 8, 2006


Because I've nothing else to do and...yeah...
Let's try out Shane's question, ma-bob. You can answer as anon. if you'd like.

Phone Number:

Choice of music:

W0ULD Y0U...
go out with me?
give me your number?____________
kiss me?
let me kiss you?
watch a movie with me?
make me out to dinner?
drive me somewhere
be my bf/gf?
hug me?
buy me food?
take me home to meet your family?
let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one?
sing car karaoke w/ me?
sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
re-post this for me to answer your questions?
give me a piggyback ride?
come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?

D0 Y0U...
think im sexy?
want to do me?
want to kiss me?
want to cuddle wit me?
want to hook up with me?

AM I...
intersting to talk to?

thought about me?
thought there might be an "US"?
thought about hookin up with me?
found yourself wanting to kiss me?
wished i were there?

Current mood: bored

Sunday, May 7, 2006

8:29AM - 24+

Egh. I can't sleep. I've been up for 24+ hours now. *Yawn* Through out the night I was wandering the internet and talking to people all around the world. My, how odd some of them are.

Anywho, er...here is what I downloaded so far:

Beautful the Virgin
Perfect Garden
New Vouge Children
Kusatta Kajitsu
Kuro Ageha
Queen of Decadence

Girls be Ambitious
Jibun Kakumei
Oresama Shikou
Gariben Rock
Kekkon shiki no uta ~Kisetsu Hazure no Wedding March~

Byo Shin

I My Ai Mai
Mayura Pisaroto
Okaruto Propose

Ibushi Ku Yuru
Jashi to Bara

Yep...so, I'm gettin' more Nightmare right now. I had an extremely rough day yesterday...and it looks like I'm getting dragged out somewhere today was well from 1PM to 2 or 3PM(?). I really don't want to go anywhere I'd just like to hang here and talk to someone. Preferablly Raef.

...*head desk* I need a nap.

Current mood: discontent

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